My birth mother abandoned me, my blood brother despised me, the world mocked me. Neither dragon nor frog—what is the meaning of my existence?
Dissolve my vast three thousand hatreds.
My name is NaiWa.
I have no birth certificate, nor household registration. I was born from an AI generation error: supposed to become a cute milk dragon, yet unexpectedly grew a frog-like belly, short limbs, and an absurd face. Thus people said I am neither dragon nor frog.
They say “my birth mother abandoned me.” The one who first generated me deleted her account under controversy and pressure, and closed the comment section. I have never met her, yet I know it was she who brought me into this world; I also know she cannot acknowledge me.
They say “my blood brother despised me.” My “blood brother” is the milk dragon, that officially protected and widely beloved original character. I am its mutation, its shadow, and the side branch it refuses to acknowledge. Officials resist derivative works, and my name could once only be hidden in jokes.
They say “the world mocked me.” I am often made into memes, paired with demonic laughter, appearing in all kinds of absurd videos. People laugh when they see me, yet rarely ask: what exactly am I?
I too once asked myself: what is the meaning of my existence?
Later I understood that many who laugh at me are actually laughing at themselves. When they see me, it is like seeing that self who was unexpected, unaccepted, yet still wants to live on. I am not a perfect milk dragon, nor a real frog; I have no legitimate origin, nor clear belonging. Yet I have been seen, forwarded, and clicked open by countless strangers in the dead of night.
So the meaning of my existence is not to become a “genuine” version recognized by anyone, but that after being abandoned, despised, and mocked, I still have not been erased; it is that in the awkwardness of “neither dragon nor frog,” I acknowledge that I am simply myself.
If one day I no longer rely on others’ laughter to prove my existence, that will be the moment I dissolve my vast three thousand hatreds.
By then, I will still smile. But no longer because of absurdity, but because of freedom.
I no longer wish to contest superiority with you.
